This post has absolutely no point to it at all. It’s purely for fun.
Let me introduce you to our office Audrey.
I named her after the enormous, growing, never-satisfied plant in Little Shop of Horrors. Audrey Jr. is a unique plant that awkward Seymour Krelborn takes care of in a flower shop. The shop owner is unimpressed with Audrey Jr as a straggly sprout, but Seymour thinks the plant is unique and will attract customers out of curiosity. When he discovers the plant’s fetish for blood and human flesh causes it to grow unrestrained, things get a little dicey (literally). Originally a 1960s film titled The Passionate People Eater, it was a low-budget film totaling $30,000 and shot in two days. In 1982, an off-Broadway musical adaptation of the film was done that eventually made it to Broadway and stages all over the world. In 1986, a film version of the musical was made, and in 2003, an $8 million dollar revival was staged with master puppeteers from The Jim Henson Company creating high-tech puppets.
But back to our office Audrey.
She isn’t a man-eating plant, but she does guard the front entrance with an imposing floor to ceiling spread of leaves, some measuring 2 foot from stem to tip. If this plant could talk, it’s not inconceivable to think the first words out of her mouth would be, “Feed Me!”
Audrey is really a tree Philodendron, native to southern Brazil and Paraguay. She can reach heights of 15 feet with a 15 foot spread. Stems can be a large as 6 inches in diameter. Wile she’s poisonous if eaten and the sap may irritate your skin, she’s not carnivorous.
Just don’t tell her you know.