Friday Funny, August 6, 2010

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing..

I joined a health club last year.
Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word “exercise,”
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say,
“Well, he looks good doesn’t he.”

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years…Just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.


5 thoughts on “Friday Funny, August 6, 2010

  1. At first I read “walking” as “waking”, and I’m thinking “well, yah – waking certainly would add minutes to your life”. Duh. Then I read it correctly, and once again – Duh. I like to walk. I just grow weary of the same walk all the time, and I want to walk where dogs don’t need leashes. So can’t we just extend my road or something? It makes no sense to me to drive so I can walk. So I don’t. I sit. I’m good at that.


  2. These are great.

    The Mrs. is a big walker and before we were parents would take marathon walks on the beach when we were on vacation (I finally started riding a bike alongside her to combat the boredom…


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