Remembrance Rose

“An Angel in the book of life wrote down our babies birth, and whispered as she close the book…..”Too beautiful for earth.”
Anonymous

Heaven has a new little soul. Although we never had the opportunity to meet, we know this little someone is waiting on the other side.

On Wednesday Army Wife/Guy miscarried at 13 weeks. Loss is always painful, but the loss of a child (at any age) carves a huge hole in your heart. Nothing can prepare a person for this. The brain may think it understands, but the heart can only grieve.

And here I am 12 hours away, helpless to do anything but try and comfort and support long-distance. So I write.

There are well-meaning people who will explain or dismiss what happened with a multitude of reasons, all with the best of intentions. But the fact is, we will never know the reason. And, even knowing the reason doesn’t take away the emotional, physical, psychological or spiritual trauma. For those of us that have felt life inside our bodies, a bond is instantly created the moment that test comes back positive. It may be just a blob of cells for many weeks, but to most of us, it’s already a real baby. When this happens, it’s not only the reality that a new life is gone, it’s also all the hopes, dreams and plans we’ve already made in advance.

Faith is tested during times like these. And event the strongest of believers are shaken and left with questions of why. There isn’t any right or wrong way to feel at this moment, and I’m sure most of it feels out of control. There isn’t a time frame or deadline when all this will stop. We’ll all ride the roller coaster of emotions for a long time. And it’s something we will forever carry with us to some degree.

I pray the parents of this wee soul will cling tightly to their faith, to take comfort that God has not abandoned them during this difficult time. No, this is not how it’s suppose to be. But this side of heaven, pain and loss will always be with us. It’s essential we all take time to grieve, but in time the rawness of this moment will fade. In time, we’ll remember…but in a different way. Healing doesn’t mean we’ll ever forget. I pray these young parents will take comfort that, eventually, hearts will heal and in the meantime, they are not alone.

Today is Epiphany, a Christian holiday that commemorates the day the wise men (Magi) found the Christ Child and offered their gifts. Epiphany means “to make known” or “to reveal.” It was the time when Jesus was revealed to the Gentiles and acknowledged by them as King. It was their testimonial that began the spread of the news among the rest of the Gentiles.

Epiphany reminds us that Jesus came to the earth to be our shield, refuge, comforter, guide, deliverer, rescuer, encourager and healer. He came to, in time, restore a broken world and reconcile his creation back to the Creator. He came and experienced every human emotion we can possible imagine. And each Epiphany reminds us that we are not alone.

 

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9 thoughts on “Remembrance Rose

  1. Lisa,
    I am so so sorry for your loss. Loss of a child (miscarriage or otherwise) is extremely painful. What makes miscarriage even harder is that many people do not understand it. They don’t understand that it’s a loss as real as any other and that it requires a grieving process like any other. My heart goes out to Army Wife/Guy and you and your whole family. Time will lessen the pain you feel but the hole left by the loss will always be there. As a mother, I know how much you want to be with your child as she goes through this and that makes the loss even more compounded for you. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and I send healing thoughts your way.

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  2. I still remember the sadness, the confusion, the loss and so much more I felt when I miscarried many many years ago. It is a difficult time for all of you. My heart weeps for army wife and her husband,for you and all of your family.

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