A few weeks ago was Entrepreneur and my 32nd wedding anniversary. It was celebrated in the middle of numerous other events, such as: Army Wife and the kids’ visit, a 25th wedding anniversary, a 50th birthday AND a 75th birthday. Our event paled a bit in comparison to those other milestones.
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.
~Peter De Vries
But 32 years is worth noting. Heck, these days anything over 10 years is worth a parade!
Looking back 32 years it’s remarkable to me the changes that have happened…both externally and internally. Externally, the price of gas in 1980 was just $1 a gallon; a first-class stamp was 15 cents; a new home was around $75,000.
My, on my, how things have changed. Married just out of college, we were 9 foot tall and bullet proof…or so we thought. And with that naive mentality came a fair amount of immaturity that I’m sure our parents saw but was hidden to us. After all, we were college graduates and all of twenty two years old! Surely we were mature enough to make exceptionally good decisions about ev.er.y.thing.
And I’m sure we did make good decisions about most things. But I’m equally positive we made a number of immature, knee-jerk decisions.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
(1 Corinthians 13:11)
Yes, a case could be made that we were, in many ways, childish in nature. Two kids trying to make their way together in the world. Torn between the responsibilities of balancing career and adulthood…and the care-free days of youth when having a good time was Priority One.
Change is inevitable. Some couples marry and expect the other to never change. Others marry, hoping the other will change. Both mindsets are flawed to some degree. I’d like to think Entrepreneur and I have changed for the better from our youthful ideas of the 1980s. Our relationship is built on so much more than our fairy-tale ideals during those first few years. He’s no longer that reckless, risk-taking boy. I’m no longer that silly, doe-eyed girl.
A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
To look at us, Entrepreneur and I are polar opposites. There’s no way we should be together 32 years later. He’s athletic; I can’t catch much of anything that’s thrown to me. I live comfortably in my right-brain; he’s camped out in his left. He’s Type A-Driven; I’m….um…not. His expectations and priorities don’t always line up with mine and vice versa. He’s explosive with his temper; I’m more passive aggressive.
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
But, somehow and someway, we’re making it work.
You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self.