How can she be 28?

She’s 28 today; at 5:25pm to be exact. Twenty-eight!! I can hardly comprehend it…and my guess is neither can she. Although she has a family and children of her own now, she’s still…and will always be…my first baby.

Amy baby & Bandit72

I can hardly remember the time when I didn’t have children. Peanut’s Mama was my first born. At age 27, I had not a clue what I was getting into with this mommy gig. I had no idea the raw emotion that would be stirred up inside me when becoming a mom. That, regardless of how old my children are, there is the visceral, primal instinct of a mother bear when it comes to protecting them; so strong that I’d give my own life for them.

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I was fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom when both of my daughters were young. But even though they’re grown now and I’m part of the “working world,” there’s still a tendency to want to drop everything when I hear their familiar ring tone or text alert. And worse yet, I tend to want to drop everything and call when I don’t hear from them for extended periods of time. The state of my happiness is forever tied to theirs.

balancing72  hot shot72

And I spend a lot of time these days second-guessing the decisions I made along the way. I analyze what I think I did wrong. What did I do right? After all, no one provides an instruction manual when you take home one of these blank slates from the hospital. Every misstep they make seems like a referendum on my parenting. At least it does in my mind. So much pressure to succeed! Some days I wish I could turn back the hands of time and have a few do-overs.

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It’s evident to me that we women who are raising/have raised children become part of some secret sisterhood that forever changes the way we feel about ourselves and the world. We smile and nod to each other, knowing we’ve each walked in the other’s shoes when it comes to a child’s very public meltdown. We emotionally embrace each other when hearing reports of a child that’s missing. We share the sheer joy of watching a sleeping child and marvel at this miracle we’ve been given.

akfsenior

All this all seems a bit crazy when realizing my “baby” is 28 years old and is no longer that elfish toddler or awkward teenager that needs her mother’s tender touch. But then again, if you’re part of the secret sisterhood….it doesn’t seem the least bit crazy at all.

AKF-28

Happy Birth Day! I love you! May your life’s journey be blessed.

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3 thoughts on “How can she be 28?

  1. It’s that second-guessing and chiding myself for some of my choices that may not have been the best choice for the kids that makes me crazy. Is it written somewhere that we must forever carry little pockets of regret along with those larger pockets of pride in and love for our children?

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  2. OMG…what a touchingly beautiful post, Lisa!

    “. I had no idea the raw emo­tion that would be stirred up inside me when becoming a mom. That, regard­less of how old my chil­dren are, there is the vis­ceral, primal instinct of a mother bear when it comes to pro­tecting them; so strong that I’d give my own life for them.”

    You know, I hear more women say that same exact thing. I’m not a parent myself, but it’s odd, because I can actually FEEL what it’s like to be one – that special ‘bond’ a parent has with their children; a love that is eternal.

    “And I spend a lot of time these days second-guessing the deci­sions I made along the way. I ana­lyze what I think I did wrong. What did I do right?”

    Yes, and that’s why I think being a parent has got to be one of the most challenging vocations there is, because it doesn’t come with a manual. You just have to do the best you can; using your inner intuition.

    Your daughter is just lovely, Lisa. How beautiful she is!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter!

    X

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  3. Mine will be 24 and 25 this year, and they will always be my babies.
    I just wish I knew where the times goes.
    A very Happy Birthday to your first-born, Lisa.
    What a beautiful young lady she is.
    xo.

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