It’s just not fair. I’m the injured party here. I’m the one who has suffered. Not them. What they did was simply….
Forgiveness: to excuse a fault, absolve from payment, pardon, send away, cancel the debt; to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Forgiveness is an intentional decision to release the feelings of anger, bitterness or resentment….and catch this part….regardless of whether they deserve it or not. But let’s be clear, forgiveness is NOT forgetting the offense or condoning the actions that led to the hurt. Real, authentic forgiveness brings peace to both mind and soul. It’s divine healing of the heart, absorbing and dissolving the caustic anger that eats away at any possibility of future happiness.
Unforgiveness: poison to the soul.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. ~Margaret Stunt
Unforgiveness can destroy both our physical and mental health. When we harbor resentment towards anther person of group of people for a wrong they’ve committed, we’re only hurting ourselves. To have angry, hateful feelings towards another will forever torture our soul until we can release it and let it go. If we don’t, we replay the original scenario over and over and over in our minds until it consumes and corrupts everything we do, say and think.
If we’re waiting until we get an apology, or see some sign of change or simply waiting until we’re good and ready, it will never happen. There will always be some excuse to not forgive. They aren’t really sorry; they didn’t meet all my criteria for apologizing; I don’t believe they really meant their apology; the list goes on and on and on and on…….The point is, if we wait until some required checklist is fulfilled, we’ll wait forever.
But maybe that’s the point. Maybe we really don’t want to forgive the other person. After all, if we forgive and release that anger, bitterness and resentment, we won’t have it anymore to use when needed. We won’t have those things to drape over ourselves and wear like medals of valor. Deep down, we prefer the poison of carrying unforgiveness around in our hearts and minds.
Forgiveness is best served quickly. The longer we wait, the harder it is to do it. Forgiveness allows us to acknowledge the pain without letting that pain define us…and enabling us to heal quickly and completely. Forgiveness makes us happier, healthier and stabilizes relationships. It makes us feel less depressed, less stressed and more grateful for what we do have in our lives.
Unforgiveness is spiritual filthiness, so get washed in the water of God’s Word to forgive and stay clean. ~Joyce Meyer
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. ~Matthew 6:14-15
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ~Luke 6:37
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~Colossians 3:1
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Forgive other people when they hurt us. Forgive ourselves of mistakes we’ve made. Forgive God if you think your life isn’t turning out the way you want. God is always fair. There will always be things that happen in our lives we won’t understand. We all make serious mistakes. There’s no need to poison ourselves with unforgiveness because of it.
9 thoughts on “U is for Unforgiveness”
Willie Nelson sang it: forgiving you is easy, but forgetting takes a long, long time.
Resentment is like poison…we can only be free to live when we offer forgiveness. Though it’s difficult sometimes it is ourselves we harm when we hold back.
I am here right now… tough getting THERE.
An amazing explanation of something I have had to do in the past. It takes real understanding of the word “forgive” and now I just try to “let it go.” But I don’t tell the person that I’ve forgiven them because most of the time they would believe they didn’t do anything that they needed forgiveness for!
Wonderful post, Lisa!
“But let’s be clear, forgiveness is NOT forgetting the offense or condoning the actions that led to the hurt. Real, authentic forgiveness brings peace to both mind and soul. It’s divine healing of the heart, absorbing and dissolving the caustic anger that eats away at any possibility of future happiness.”
Exactly. Forgiveness has always been something I have to be very conscious and aware of because I used to (and still do at times) hold on to much resentment attached to an unforgivable deed, which I realize only depletes myself by keeping their negative energy around me. I do think it’s possible though, to no longer associate with someone who is simply not a person I wish to associate with any longer, and at he same time let go of my resentful thoughts. However, that takes time.
Again, wonderful post, my friend!
Well said Lisa. I have to be careful with just saying the words “I forgive you” without having taken the time to truly mean it. We live in a society that encourages us to just say things without veracity; something I need to guard against.
I hope you have a super weekend.
An important reminder, for some of us more than others. The challenge for me: letting go of anger (that is often provoked)… Without letting down my guard.
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