The lost day

Queen Anne's lace72
Texture by Kim Klassen: Lily, soft light 100%

Three things you cannot recover in life:
the WORD after it’s said, the MOMENT after it’s missed
and the TIME after it’s gone.
~Unknown

There is a reason women have children when they’re younger than their mid 50s.

Yesterday was the day from you know where. I’m not sure when it descended into the black hole of chaos, but once it started speeding downhill, there was no stopping it.

Twix is 5 months old; Peanut is 5 years old. Between them we had a day with everything from tummy troubles to independent defiance. Tummy troubles led to no nap issues….which led to fits of crying all. day. long. The independent defiance…on any other day….might have been met with more patience.

But not yesterday.

Yesterday my patience was shot by 10am….and Nana has A LOT of patience. And the less patience I had, the more defiant Peanut became. It became a vicious cycle….quickly spiraling out of control on both our parts. Against her preference, she spent a lot of time in her room.

I spoke harsh words I wish I could retract. As soon as they left my mouth, I felt regret. But Peanut just kept pushing those defiance buttons…which led to more words. Peanut is a handful on a good day….her bad days are epic.

I lost precious moments and opportunities. A more rational day would have realized the necessity of 5-year-old independence. But all I wanted was for her to do what she was told while I was dealing with her screaming sister. She declined to acquiesce and, I’m not going to lie, it irritated me to the point of losing all patience with her.

But most of all, I lost time….time with my grandbabykins I’ll never get back. Time that could have been better spent even though the day was the most challenging one I’ve had since taking this Nana Nanny gig.

Time is a precious commodity. My rational brain understands that. I have no idea how much time I’ll have with these precious children so why on earth would I waste a second of it? Logically, I know this. But, evidently, amnesia set in yesterday and pushed out all those patient, loving, logical thoughts.

Reinforcements came home at 5pm and I left for a much-needed respite…to Walmart. When I got home, there was Peanut…waiting for me to snuggle with her at bedtime. It was like nothing bad had happened all day. It didn’t matter that we’d been mortal enemies all day. It was bedtime and time for a cease fire…and a peace treaty.

Papa had read to her, got her in jams and got her teeth brushed while Mama took care of calming Twix the way only mamas can do. As Peanut intertwined her arms in mine and fell asleep, that’s when it hit me….like a truck. The five-year-old taught the fifty-six year old a lesson in patience, love and forgiveness….without saying one word.

Linking up with Life Through the Lens, Friday Finds and Texture Twist
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9 thoughts on “The lost day

  1. But there will be more moments, more words of a kinder more loving nature – and more times of an expert five-year-old pushing buttons. Because that’s what life is, you know. Loving words, harsh words, repentance, forgiveness, cuddling, wanting to run away, happy to return. And every moment is of value, good or bad.

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  2. Lisa, I loved Carol’s comment because it’s so true…

    “And every moment is of value, good or bad.”

    I think when things like this happen, we often feel worse about it because we put such high expectations on ourselves to always know better, so it’s challenging to forgive ourselves. Yet, we’re human.

    And I think children teach us so many things about life…

    “Peanut…waiting for me to snuggle with her at bed­time. It was like nothing bad had hap­pened all day…”

    Yes, because it was just a single moment in time for her and knows how much you really love her.

    GORGEOUS photo, Lisa!

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  3. Hang in there. Reinforcements are the best!

    My daughter sounds like Peanut–independent and certainly challenging to mom and dad. But she also will battle with us all day and then be just peachy at night.

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  4. Oh my goodness. This made me cry. Why on earth would any of us waist time… so good. But, I also love how you wrote this out, and you started new, and I’m positive grace flowed over you like honey. Cuz He’s real good at fixing our issues.

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  5. Oh what a sweet story for this gramdma and hit home because I just came back from visiting two troublesome little grandboys who are hard to handle and I could really relate. As a almost 70 year old my patience is way gone but your quote is so so true, we never get those moments back. Sweet story.

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