Texture by Kim Klassen: Lily, soft light 100%
Three things you cannot recover in life:
the WORD after it’s said, the MOMENT after it’s missed
and the TIME after it’s gone.
There is a reason women have children when they’re younger than their mid 50s.
Yesterday was the day from you know where. I’m not sure when it descended into the black hole of chaos, but once it started speeding downhill, there was no stopping it.
Twix is 5 months old; Peanut is 5 years old. Between them we had a day with everything from tummy troubles to independent defiance. Tummy troubles led to no nap issues….which led to fits of crying all. day. long. The independent defiance…on any other day….might have been met with more patience.
But not yesterday.
Yesterday my patience was shot by 10am….and Nana has A LOT of patience. And the less patience I had, the more defiant Peanut became. It became a vicious cycle….quickly spiraling out of control on both our parts. Against her preference, she spent a lot of time in her room.
I spoke harsh words I wish I could retract. As soon as they left my mouth, I felt regret. But Peanut just kept pushing those defiance buttons…which led to more words. Peanut is a handful on a good day….her bad days are epic.
I lost precious moments and opportunities. A more rational day would have realized the necessity of 5-year-old independence. But all I wanted was for her to do what she was told while I was dealing with her screaming sister. She declined to acquiesce and, I’m not going to lie, it irritated me to the point of losing all patience with her.
But most of all, I lost time….time with my grandbabykins I’ll never get back. Time that could have been better spent even though the day was the most challenging one I’ve had since taking this Nana Nanny gig.
Time is a precious commodity. My rational brain understands that. I have no idea how much time I’ll have with these precious children so why on earth would I waste a second of it? Logically, I know this. But, evidently, amnesia set in yesterday and pushed out all those patient, loving, logical thoughts.
Reinforcements came home at 5pm and I left for a much-needed respite…to Walmart. When I got home, there was Peanut…waiting for me to snuggle with her at bedtime. It was like nothing bad had happened all day. It didn’t matter that we’d been mortal enemies all day. It was bedtime and time for a cease fire…and a peace treaty.
Papa had read to her, got her in jams and got her teeth brushed while Mama took care of calming Twix the way only mamas can do. As Peanut intertwined her arms in mine and fell asleep, that’s when it hit me….like a truck. The five-year-old taught the fifty-six year old a lesson in patience, love and forgiveness….without saying one word.
Linking up with Life Through the Lens, Friday Finds and Texture Twist