Here, there and in-between

There is a split second right when I wake up where it feels like everything is normal. A moment when I look forward to the day. A moment when I’m calm and have a sense of peace about life.

And then reality creeps into my consciousness and brings back the realization that our life is anything but normal. Entrepreneur’s kidney cancer diagnosis is a constant reminder of the reality that our hopes and dreams for the future may not materialize unless a miracle happens.

And my heart sinks. And I want to crawl back under the covers. The tears well up and my mind begins the daily race against the abyss.

But retreating under the covers in an attempt to block out the world can’t happen. Much as I feel paralysis by analysis many mornings, life simply doesn’t stop just because something unexpected has happened. There are children to take care of, work to do, meals to make, a house to clean. There is homework to supervise, pets to feed, schedules to keep, classes to teach.

And through all of this, my muse has up and disappeared on me again. She has a nasty habit of doing that just when I could really use her creative distraction. Both words and photographic expression have become scarce. I feel overwhelmed with the mundane. Sometimes I struggle to remember what day it is.

Last Monday was my birthday. It came and went without much fanfare…which is fine with me. I appreciate those who remembered and wished me well. Received flowers from Entrepreneur with the promise of jewelry while in Mexico for our upcoming vacay. A lovely sentiment, but absolutely not necessary. We all know the gift I’d rather have.

For my birthday, a dear friend gave me a mug for my cuppa…tea, hot chocolate (with or without a touch of Bailey’s)…and I love it. I appreciate her thoughtfulness so much that I just had to try to coax my muse back with a little winter light play on the yummy green color. This is my attempt at distracting my attention as Entrepreneur has biopsies done on his lungs and thyroid today to confirm the cancer.

cuppa 1 web

Friends, what would we do without them.

cuppa 3 web

They show up just as things seem to be going darkest and offer strength, comfort and support.

cuppa 2 web

In both big and small ways.

Linking up with LTTL and Friday Finds
Life thru the lens fridayfindsbutton2

23 thoughts on “Here, there and in-between

  1. Friends, family or otherwise, have kept us sane the last several years. The quietly whispered ‘we’ve been there too’ or a rousing cheer just when we need it. Love the mug, love the picture and love the cousin – you are a strong woman but remember to curl up in the Father’s arms when you need respite.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your thoughts and emotions are totally understandable. You’ve got a lot to deal with now. If your muse seems a bit scarce, I have to say that when she shows up, she’s showing up strong. These are delightful photos and I love that mug!!!! I hope your muse will realize your need to find strength through creativity and show up more frequently. Thinking of you all …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Life sometimes has a way of slapping you in the face with harsh and unforgiving. Fortunately, it also includes moments of humanity, compassion, and beauty. I am so sorry to read of the cancer diagnosis – certainly understandable for your emotional abyss. Your photos are lovely and the cup delightful.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lisa, I just saw this news. I am praying for you and your family. Let me know if ever anything I can do (if you have a class this semester happy to help in any way I can).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That green does look smashing with the winter light. I do understand not knowing what day it is and being drawn into the abyss. When my mother was dying of cancer I got to such a point of exhaustion and grief that I could not read anything and hope to remember it.

    Happy belated birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First, Happy Belated Birthday, Lisa!

    Second, I don’t think your muse has disappeared because this post (your words and photographs) were so touching and honest. I know how I felt when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and I felt much the same as you. It almost feels surreal, doesn’t it?

    Please know that you and your family are continually in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

    And yes, you ARE an AMAZING woman!

    (((((((((((((( You )))))))))))))

    Much X

    P.S again, your photographs are faaaaaaaabulous!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I missed your birthday, so please accept belated birthday wishes. I can’t imagine what a roller coaster of emotions you are feeling, but I get that you want to stay under the covers. You always express yourself so beautifully. And your photos are lovely. You are truly amazing. That is a nice Thoreau quote. The support of friends means so much. I’m glad that you took time to write this post and take the photos. It is really important for you to take care of yourself while you go through this time with your husband. A vacation somewhere warm sounds wonderful. You, Entrepreneur, and your family are in my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. So, so sorry to hear that your family has been dealt this terrible blow. Having been through something not dissimilar with both my parents, I can identify with some of what you are (all) going through. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending love…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. These are great friend. I really love the color of that mug. Oh, how I am praying for miracles… some mountains need to be moved!! I hope that while you are on vacation you do get to escape your world, even if just for a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

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