There is a split second right when I wake up where it feels like everything is normal. A moment when I look forward to the day. A moment when I’m calm and have a sense of peace about life.
And then reality creeps into my consciousness and brings back the realization that our life is anything but normal. Entrepreneur’s kidney cancer diagnosis is a constant reminder of the reality that our hopes and dreams for the future may not materialize unless a miracle happens.
And my heart sinks. And I want to crawl back under the covers. The tears well up and my mind begins the daily race against the abyss.
But retreating under the covers in an attempt to block out the world can’t happen. Much as I feel paralysis by analysis many mornings, life simply doesn’t stop just because something unexpected has happened. There are children to take care of, work to do, meals to make, a house to clean. There is homework to supervise, pets to feed, schedules to keep, classes to teach.
And through all of this, my muse has up and disappeared on me again. She has a nasty habit of doing that just when I could really use her creative distraction. Both words and photographic expression have become scarce. I feel overwhelmed with the mundane. Sometimes I struggle to remember what day it is.
Last Monday was my birthday. It came and went without much fanfare…which is fine with me. I appreciate those who remembered and wished me well. Received flowers from Entrepreneur with the promise of jewelry while in Mexico for our upcoming vacay. A lovely sentiment, but absolutely not necessary. We all know the gift I’d rather have.
For my birthday, a dear friend gave me a mug for my cuppa…tea, hot chocolate (with or without a touch of Bailey’s)…and I love it. I appreciate her thoughtfulness so much that I just had to try to coax my muse back with a little winter light play on the yummy green color. This is my attempt at distracting my attention as Entrepreneur has biopsies done on his lungs and thyroid today to confirm the cancer.
Friends, what would we do without them.
They show up just as things seem to be going darkest and offer strength, comfort and support.
In both big and small ways.
Linking up with LTTL and Friday Finds