Feeding faith and starving fears

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I don’t know whether to be thrilled or terrified.


Entrepreneur’s biopsies of his lungs and thyroid are inconclusive for cancer cells. A biopsy confirmed the cells in the removed kidney were, indeed, renal cell cancer. But the spots on his lungs and thyroid….which the physicians were 99.9% certain were metastasized renal cell cancer….cannot now be definitively identified as such.

And without a definitive diagnosis on those areas, the future is unclear. Do we go ahead with the IL-2 treatments and put him through the hellish side effects and risks? Do we wait and biopsy again in a few months and hope they don’t spread further?

More questions. Less answers.


How does that happen? What determines inconclusive? What does it mean when cells are in limbo?

To be sure, there are many prayers being offered up for him and our family. Prayers of comfort, healing and guidance. Deep down I’m hoping and praying that inconclusive is another word for transforming….cells being healed and cancer being removed.

And life goes on as usual. Work is super busy and it’s looking like March is going to be relentless, so I’m secretly hoping he’s not out of commission for most of the month in treatment. My class will be approaching high gear on their projects in March, which will require hours of grading and availability for student questions. The Investigator’s schedule shows no signs of letting up either…which translates to the same for the home schedule. The amount of attention each of these areas will need from me is daunting.

So, for now, I’m remembering my word for 2015 going to stick with feeling thrilled at inconclusive….and keep the mindset that there just might be something going on behind the scenes we can’t see. This year, we’ll celebrate a quiet Valentine’s Day together and be thankful for the memories that are being made in this house.

Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope. ~Author Unknown

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16 thoughts on “Feeding faith and starving fears

  1. For right now lets take inconclusive as a positive. Incredible that this is the answer after waiting so long. But on the brighter side, there is still earnest, persistent, constant prayer for a better outcome of “positively not cancer cells”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “…and keep the mindset that there just might be something going on behind the scenes we can’t see. ”

    Great mindset, Lisa! You’re right, there just might be something going on behind the scenes you can’t see. And something GOOD.

    Love your photograph with quote! So keep feeding your faith, my friend. And you’re fears will starve to death.

    And know that I (and many others) are supporting you with much pray and love.

    (((((((((((((( YOU )))))))))))))


    Liked by 1 person

  3. ‘Inconclusive’ is a positive note to hold on to for now I think. Along with many others, I’ve been praying for you all in your family and will continue to do so. Hugs x


  4. Oh man friend… but we are not going to think that God cannot move this mountain, because HE CAN! Because, like the other comments, I think it is easy to go to the negative, but we are going to hold on to the positive and say inconclusive is a mountain moved.


  5. Dear Lisa, I love both quotes. Inconclusive sounds confusing for your future treatment options. Hoping inconclusive is just that and nothing more – that it will not mean metastasis. Praying for all of you. xoxo Robin


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