For better or for worse

For better or for worse…

It’s been five days since my post on Entrepreneur’s unexpected brain surgery. Definitely a low point in our 36 years of marriage.

For richer, for poorer…

Emergency Room visit, five-hour surgery, recovery, and in-house rehabilitation; not to mention more CT scans, MRIs and other tests too numerous to count; and we’re not even to the part that involves treatment for any remaining cancer cells…let’s just say I’m feeling the “poorer” part of the vow. We met our deductible in…oh, about the first minute.

In sickness and in health…

In less than a week’s time, my over-achieving, fiercely independent, take-no-prisoners husband…the man who has come back from countless athletic injuries, a hematoma under a shoulder blade, rotator cuff surgery, knee surgery and, most recently, a kidney removal from cancer…has been humbled beyond belief by the need for a walker and help with the most mundane daily living tasks.

Because the cancer mass in his right temple measured 4.7cm and went deep into the brain, this necessitated the neurosurgeon cut around inside his head. And when people cut around inside your head, there’s trauma, swelling, bleeding and other damage that results in diminished physical abilities, capabilities and strength, And that’s in addition to the psychological, emotional and spiritual trauma that occurs when your body and thought processes don’t want to play well with what your brain want them to do.

But I signed on for the long haul. And a long haul is exactly what we’re facing now. Unless someone has faced this type of humbling disability, I’m not sure it’s possible to convey the feeling of sheer terror and helplessness that accompanies stepping into these unchartered waters.

It’s hard to remember that today’s “reality” will not be the reality of a month from now…or two months from now….or six months from now…or a year from now. Success will not be measured by the calendar days but rather, by accomplishments…however long they take.

Our lives are forever changed by this event. I’m not sure I can even comprehend what our family will go through over the coming weeks, months and years. All I know is I will be beside him every step of the way. I will celebrate the small victories as well as the major milestones. I will cry. I will curse the fates. I will pray.

“I will hold you by your right hand—
I, the LORD your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”
~Isaiah 41:13

But I know we are not facing this challenge unarmed. We are not climbing this mountain alone. The outpouring of prayers and support is literally spanning coast to coast…as well as a few across the pond (a shout-out to my international Facebook/Bloggy friends). We are connected to an amazing support system and unbelievable prayer warriors. Earthly angels sent to minister to our family. No, we are far from facing this alone.

Strengthen the feeble hands,
    steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
    “Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
    he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
    he will come to save you.”
~Isaiah 35:3-4

And I need to remember this when the days seem overwhelming, when the nights are filled with fear, when the odds look like they are not in our favor.


The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
~CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (1942)

But, I’m sure it’s going to feel more like this…

We’re not doubting that God will do the best for us; we’re wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. 
~Letters of C. S. Lewis (1966)

11 thoughts on “For better or for worse

  1. I pushed “like” not because I like what your family is going through, but to let you know I am here. Yours is a fearful journey, and you are right – your lives will forever be changed. It will require all the strength, patience, love, understanding you can muster. I remember that journey. I am thinking of you. I am sending hugs and reassurance that you will make it. Because you are strong. Because you must.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am SO glad that you stopped by here!!!
    I think of you every day and pray for all of you every day as well.
    I wish you both the strength, that is most definitely needed and being tested at this point.
    Sending you hugs, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lisa, you have been in my thoughts these past several days, wondering how you and your husband were doing.

    “We are connected to an amazing support system and unbelievable prayer warriors. Earthly angels sent to minister to our family. No, we are far from facing this alone.”

    Yes you are, my friend! So just know that we are ALL with you at this time; sharing our prayers, love, and cyber hugs….

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( you and your husband ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Just take one step at a time, one day at a time. And know that you are held and supported.

    Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can only imagine your worry and anxiety. You guys and your family are so young to be going through this. I will pray for your hubby and the doctors and all staff that attend him. ~hugs~ sweet lady. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lisa, can I reach through this screen and give you a great big hug. I would if I could. ❤ I have a ribbon necklace, it's a dainty white gold ribbon with three diamonds. I bought it for myself years ago when my hubby was "playing in the desert" yet again. I bought it because it reminded me their is beauty in turmoil, and it reminded me to pray for him whenever I fiddled with it. I'm wearing it now for you and your hubby, and I pray whenever I fiddle with it. Love you lady.

    Lisa @ LTTL

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Thanks for this post… You encouraged me today by being an example of Christ-like love. Remember that Jesus loves you the same way– for better or worse!
    “Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are those who long for Him” (Isaiah 30:18).

    Liked by 1 person

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