So this is what 30 looks like

OMG, we were young. Just twenty-two years old when we stood there, starry-eyed and full of dreams. Evidently full of pink dusty rose and white dreams. What the h*!! were we thinking? I’m issuing a formal apology to the entire bridal party.

Today marks 30 years since that wedding day. As I look back on those early years, I remember…

The first apartment we shared covertly with a collie named Bandit. I say covertly because pets were not allowed. Have you ever tried to hide a full-sized collie?

The wonderful dinners I served our first year…dinner’s ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

Learning to waterski…and keep on the swimsuit.

Learning to drive a stick shift in a Mazda RX-7. Never really got the hang of that one. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill us both.

Wondering if it would be possible to strap an infant car seat in the hatch of said Mazda RX-7. Obviously, I would never be driving and, no, we never tried it.

Being the favorite house on the block at Halloween. Entrepreneur worked for P&G and had cases of sample Crest Kits. No…seriously, the kids loved them and asked for them every year.

The time we lived in Omaha, Nebraska. We had his and hers snow shovels. And used them. It was also the fist time we experienced thundersnow, driving in a blizzard and -60 degree wind chills.

Stealing Procuring river rock from the side of the railroad tracks because we were financially strapped and landscaping was not in the budget.

Thirty years of wedded bliss.

Well not so fast, Skippy.

Happily ever after should maybe be saved strictly for fairy tales. The real work of marriage is messy, frustrating, irritating and annoying. Despite what we all think when we say our “I dos,” there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Or a perfect soulmate. However, in the middle of all the messiness, frustration, irritation and annoyance, there are perfect parts. And sometimes that’s enough.

The secret of a long marriage? I believe it begins with having many of the core values in common. If the foundation is solid, the relationship can better withstand hurricane-force winds. It also is essential to be a giver. If one spouse gives 70% of the time and takes 30% of the time, it’s smooth sailing! Of course, the other spouse has to give 70% of the time and take 30% of the time as well for it to work. That’s a bit trickier, and the part people have the most trouble with.

Finally, marriage isn’t all about the mushy feelings during the”honeymoon period.” Emotions change. People change. Entrepreneur and I aren’t anything like we were 30 years ago. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes not so much. Marriage isn’t a feeling. It’s a decision. A decision to love “in spite of” as well as “because of.”

So, whether we have another 30 or only 3 more summers, Christmases, anniversaries or birthdays together, I will try my best to remember that in this world, life is short…and I need to make the most of it now.

That, and lots of wine.